Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
