OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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