Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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