so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
