Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize