Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have aggressive nipples.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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