ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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