My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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