Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You can't motorboat a personality
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
