Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
