I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
