We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
