so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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