So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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