I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The air was thick with penises
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
