it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
