I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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