So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
