It's like God shit irony all over that family
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
