There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
this just has baby written all over it
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
