I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
