You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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