Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
