I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
