I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
