My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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