if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
