How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize