her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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