no, he came in my armpit
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
