I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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