I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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