DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
