is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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