afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
