I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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