if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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