you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
