i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize