In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
