Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
