if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
