Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
