the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
