No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
