But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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