I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
