i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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