You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
