I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have post one night stand depression
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
