wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
