my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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