i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
