I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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