I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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