oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
