Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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