Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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