Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Boobs speak an international language.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
