chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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