Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
