and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
