Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
