Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
