Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
zippers are such a cool invention
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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