I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
there is glitter all over my balls
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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