I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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