don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
