He kissed a someone with a penis
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
