my vag is so smooth its legendary
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
