I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize