loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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