it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
