nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
