Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
