His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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