I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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