It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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