I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
