Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
