Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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